Say What?

I personally don’t read the news a lot, for often I find myself just shaking my head over it. Sadly that happened this morning as a news article caught my eye. It was about a 16 year old guy who had raped a girl at a party. I know, very sadly that isn’t shocking news. What was shocking was the judge’s reaction and what he said, that is what has left me shaking my head and feeling sick.

This 16 year old not only raped the girl, but he videoed it with his phone and then he sent the video out to his friends in the weeks following. The video was sent with the following text message attached to it. ” when your first time having sex was rape.”

Not only did this guy do something very wrong by raping this girl, he went and bragged about it, which just disgusts me all the more. But the judge’s reaction was the “icing on the cake”!

He said how the guy came from a good family, had wonderful test scores and was destined for good things, as far as college and career go. He commented how a rape indictment could “ruin his life!”  That the text message he had attached to the video, was just “boys being stupid”, nothing more.

Seriously????

Am I missing something? For I am totally aghast at how what this guy did can be looked at as something not bad!  All because he apparently comes from a “good family” and has “good grades!”?  So would it be right for me to assume that if this guy came from a “poor family” and had bad grades with no hopes of going to college that the judge would have thrown the book at him?  That’s the impression I am getting and its just so WRONG!

I don’t care what your test scores are and how high class you are, Wrong is Wrong!!

What message is that judge sending to this kid ?

People wonder why we have adults doing totally stupid things and not taking responsibility for their actions, well to me this is a perfect example of how that is happening! Kids are left off the hook, eyes are turned the other way and guess what, they grow up. They grow up learning that they can buy their way out of trouble and that what they do doesn’t really matter! That they are above the law if they can find a way around it. That they can be bullies and no one can stop them. That they can run for politics and … !

Ok, I will step off my soapbox now, and I promise there will be a lighter post tomorrow!

 

Why we dig holes!

I have experienced 2 incidents recently that once again caused me to have bewilderment. Bewildered by what people do and the ways  they  justify their actions.

Justifying our behavior starts when we are toddlers. Toddlers will bite, hit, push and scream and will  give you what they think is a perfectly good reason as to why they did it. Someone had the toy they wanted, someone was sitting in the chair that they wanted to sit in. The list goes on and on.

These clearly  aren’t reasons that justify bad behavior, but in their  minds they think so.  Unfortunately in this world we have adult sized toddlers running around using toddler logic to justify their behavior. It doesn’t help when these adult sized toddlers hold leadership positions of where they are supposed to be role models!

Why do we justify our bad behavior instead of accepting responsibility for our actions? Where is the logic behind our reasoning? Is there any? As we get older the situations that upset us change. They change, but at the same time can have a similarity to what we dealt with as children.

“That person wasn’t nice, they cut me off in traffic. I am going to ride their bumper now, I’ll show them!”  ( “Johnny butted in front of me in line, so yes I pushed him down!”)

“I was the one that was supposed to get the promotion. They had no right to give it to him! He is going to wish he had turned down that promotion!” (“He is sitting in my chair! The red chair that belongs to me, not this blue one! Next time you sit in my chair I will bite you twice!”)

“It is all about my desires. I have to do whatever it takes to fulfill them, no matter what!”  ( “It is all about me and what I want!”, says the toddler screaming on the floor)

Do we really believe that all these reasons justify our actions? Do we really believe that we are innocent of any wrongdoing, or do we know that we are lying to ourselves?  Have we lied to ourselves so often to ease our guilty conscience that we now believe the lies?

That when we are held responsible for our actions we now feel like we are being framed. We feel that whoever got us into trouble is out to get us. We make up reasons as to why they may not like us.We toss and turn in bed worrying about the trouble that we are now in, unable to see what led us to this point.

Have we dug ourselves so many holes that we now are falling into them? Falling into them,  and finding that they are too deep to jump out of.

In the 2 incidents that are fresh in my mind, there really is no way to justify the actions of the  2 different individuals.  No matter how you look at it, there is no reasonable rationale, but try telling them that.

Are there logical answers to any of these questions? What do you think?