Betsy’s Escape

I am beginning to think these characters have cast a spell, making it impossible to end their story. Jason realized that there were still some loose ends to tie up from Part 2, so he did another great job again with Part 3. Betsy is really wanting her time in the limelight! Enjoy! Just a tip as you read, you may not want to be drinking anything while reading, if you don’t want to find yourself spitting it out! Yes, the master of puns has managed to do it again!  I split his Part 3 into 2 parts. On Thursday I will post the conclusion. 🙂 

Betsy’s Escape

It was the kind of warm sunny evening that would make you feel like you could just sit outside scratching insect bites all night. A full moon was rising, frogs were croaking, and fireflies flashed in and out among the trees. Lou had been watching Luke’s barn for two days now, waiting for Betsy to leave it unguarded, but the cow would not stray far from her pen.

Lou was getting hungry. He had caught a few grasshoppers, but they just weren’t filling enough. He may have to resort to eating fireflies, though they did give him heartburn.

Inside the barn Betsy was making plans. Acquiring the gold had only been a means to an end. What Betsy really wanted was to be free of Luke’s farm and liver own life. Sure, three square meals of hay a day were nice, but Betsy yearned to be free and not under Luke’s yoke. She also didn’t want to be around any more talking animals. With talking animals it could go either of two ways: really bad, orwell, and she had lived with them since 1984 and now she was through living on an animal farm.

She did enjoy having fun at Luke’s expense from time-to-time. Knowing Luke had never met his dad, Betsy sometimes stood at his bedroom window in the middle of the night while he was sleeping and bellowed in a deep voice “Luke…… I, am your father.”  Luke often awoke screaming after this with Betsy in the shadows outside chuckling.

But a nice warm sunny beach is where Betsy longed to be. Not boggy and rocky like Borden, but somewhere sandy down in the tropics where she could lay in the sun and tan her hide. And, if she could avoid eating it, she could wear a grass skirt and blend in with the locals.

But she needed a plan, for Luke was smart and he had well-placed cousins that would track Betsy to the ends of the Earth if she just stampeded away. She decided that she must visit Tanya. Tanya knew how to disappear, but she had a weakness for men. Betsy had no such weakness for she tolerated no bull. Yes, maybe she could persuade Tanya to help her devise a plan to escape from Luke’s farm.

So, as the moon rose, Betsy set out for the Mandy Guardtower State Women’s Prison where Tanya was locked up. Betsy crept out of the barn and headed up the river on her way to the big house.

Finally, Lou saw some movement at the farm. The barn door opened and a bovine silhouette emerged and quietly sneaked away, well quiet except for the occasional clanging of her cowbell. At last Lou had his chance. He waited until Betsy was out of site and slowly goose-stepped to the barn door. He looked around to see if anyone had seen him, suppressed a loud honk, and entered the barn.

Lou found Betsy’s lantern and lit it revealing piles and piles of hay. The gold could be anywhere and he didn’t know when Betsy would be back. He quickly grabbed a pitchfork and got to work. After a few minutes of going through stack after stack of hay, and finding several needles but no gold, he heard a distant voice say “I’m just going to check on Betsy before bed time.” Oh no, farmer Luke was coming to the barn.

Lou could hide in the hay, but what would Luke do when he didn’t find Betsy. Lou was so worried he almost started honking nervously. He then let out his best ‘mooooo’. He hoped it sounded convincing to the farmer. The footsteps stopped for a second, and then turned around. Luke was returning to the man-barn. “Whew!” Lou sighed and then honked. He froze until he heard the door of the man-barn shut.

That was a close call. Lou redoubled his effort with pitchfork in wing and sought out Betsy’s treasure. He searched well into the night and left no straw unturned, but he could not find the cow’s valuables. He did find several pies though, cow pies. Uck, he was getting more and more sick of this cow by the minute.

The next morning Betsy arrived at the prison as the prisoners were working in the field. The prison guards took no notice of a cow walking around so Betsy was easily able to walk right up to Tanya. Betsy swished her tail and swatted Tanya’s head. Tanya turned around, and after a brief second of confusion, recognition entered her eyes. “You’re that Luke’s cow. I never quite knew what to think of you.”

Betsy bent down gathered some alfalfa in her mouth and started to chew.

“You know, I could swear I saw you driving a boat once.” Tanya said “Come back here to finish the job?”

“Nooooo,” Betsy mooed “I need your help and I willing to help yoooooou in return.”

“What could I possibly do to help you?” Tanya asked

“I need to leave Luuuuke’s farm and I don’t want him to come after me. I want to be gone for goooood.” said Betsy.

“I’ll help you plan this out, but I need out of this prison. Orange is just not my color you see. And I’ll have my revenge on a certain man down in Borden one day.” Tanya said.

Betsy’s Tail … Part 2

I am happy to share with you a drawing for Part 2 of Jason’s story! His creative daughter was kind enough to draw this picture of Betsy for us. If you missed Part 1 of Jason’s story, his continuation from my Anna/Tanya saga, here is the link A Fun Surprise! Enjoy the exciting conclusion.  Fair warning : If puns make you “smack your head”, be prepared,  but you will find this entertaining! It also may bring back to your memory the name of a really old Tv show! img_2637


Betsy’s Tail Continued…

Twilight fades as the sun appears on the horizon across the bay. Betsy rowed the boat, weighed down with precious treasure into a cove near the quaint village of Borden. She hid the boat and treasure chest among the reeds where no one could see and hoofed it into town. She must find someone to hire that could transport her and her treasure chest back to the farm before farmer Luke became suspicious. And this someone needed to be able keep their mouth shut. She also knew that Luke’s cousin Patrick lived in Borden and she needed to avoid his notice. Fortunately, Betsy had found some clothing to disguise herself back in Tanya’s old cottage. Oddly though it was all men’s clothing. Tanya must have led quite a wild life out there on that island.

She slipped into a seedy diner down by the docks and sat down for breakfast. “What’ll it be, miss..ster?” said the bartender.

“Coffee.” Betsy nearly mooed. She had been up all night and needed the caffeine.

“Would you like cream and sugar with that?”

Betsy snarled and jerked her head so hard that her bell nearly rang out, “Do I look like the kind of cow, er, man that wants cream and sugar?!? Hot, black coffee. As strong and bitter as you have. And bring me a large plate of sorghum too.”

“Right away, m’am, sir.” The waiter said and hurried off to the kitchen.

Betsy began to get the eerie feeling that she was being watched. She felt it in all four of her stomachs, but that could just be lingering pain from the pork chops and cold cuts that she got in her struggle with Portia. The pig was a worthy opponent, but Betsy had gotten the upper hoof when she hind-shanked Portia in her jowl and layed her out flat. All she had needed was an apple in her mouth to complete the picture.

Betsy turned to see if anyone was watching her. For an instant she swore she saw a goose, but the stranger quickly lifted a newspaper in front of their face. Betsy turned around and thought about it. It would be really strange for a goose to be this far north this late in the year. She looked again but saw that it was just a thin pale man with glasses and a mustache. She shook her head.

As she finished her breakfast, she noticed a crusty old fisherman enter the joint. She decided that she’d prod the fisherman to see if could hook her up with transportation.

When asked, the fisherman said “Aye, come with me. I know just the fellow.” She followed the fisherman down the street.

Lou C. Goose was a failed photographer from down south. He had tried his wing at being a portrait photographer for children as he noticed that the humans always wanted photos of their little personlings or whatever they called them. But, Lou had the annoying habit of uncontrollably honking loudly whenever he pressed the shutter release. Turns out people wanted pictures of their little ones smiling, rather than startled with eyes wide and mount agape.

So, he pawned off all his camera equipment and flew north to find the gold of the heart shaped cave. He arrived late last evening to see a cow coming ashore on an island dragging a treasure chest that he assumed must be the secret gold. He tried to stay on the cow’s tail but lost her in the dark.

Lou figured the cow must come to town in the morning and he would pick up her trail there. Sure enough the next morning, he saw what looked like a cow in human clothing walking into town. Most people wouldn’t take notice of such a thing, but the horns were a dead giveaway. Lou followed her into a low rent sort of diner and took a seat at a table to her hindquarters to keep an eye on her.

The cow suddenly turned to look Lou’s way. Quickly he grabbed his newspaper and pulled it in front of his face. He hoped she hadn’t seen him. He then put on a pair of glasses and a fake mustache to disguise himself. Hopefully, he would look just like one of the local nitwits now, as long as he didn’t start honking.

The cow left the diner with a fisherman and headed down the street. Lou followed them carefully.

When they got to a feed store, the fisherman told Betsy “Now you go around back. There is usually a wildebeest back there getting supplies this time of day. For a few bucks he’ll do just about anything.”

Betsy went around back and sure enough, there was a wildebeest loading his truck.

“Ah, hello Mr. Wildebeest…” Betsy said

“That’s Gnu.” said the fellow.

“What’s new?” asked Betsy.

“No, not new, Gnu. G – N – U. I’m a Gnu, not a wildebeest. The name Gnippy Gnu” He pronounced it Guh-nippy as the G in Gnippy is not silent like it is in Gnu “and I’m the Mayor of Borden.”

“I didn’t know Borden had gnu mayor.” Betsy said.

“Nah, not new, I’ve been mayor for 6 years.” said Gnippy.

“That’s not…  never mind.” Betsy said “this conversation is beginning to remind me of a baseball team that I once heard about.”

“I not much of a sports fan.” said Gnu. “all those lions and tigers and bears scare the hell out of me.”

“I see.” said Betsy “I was told that I could hire you to transport me and my cargo somewhere and that you could keep your mouth shut.”

“Ah, you have been well informed, young man, for the right price I’ll haul you where you need to go in my truck and forget I ever saw you. For to tell you the truth, wildebeest’s have very poor memory.”

“I thought you were a gnu.” said Betsy.

“A new what?” ask Gnippy.

Not this again. “Never mind” said Betsy. “Can you meet me at the reedy cove just west of town around sunset?” Betsy asked. “I’ll be there with my cargo. I’ll tell you where we’re going when you get there.”

“Aye, that’ll cost you about 50 dollars.” said Gnippy.

“I’ll be paying you in gold.” Betsy said as the gnu’s eyes lit up.

Just then Betsy saw someone out of the corner of her eye and jumped behind some boxes, cowering just out of sight. When the man was gone, Gnippy asked her what she was so afraid of.

“I thought I saw a man name Patrick. I must avoid him at all costs.” Betsy said.

“That wasn’t Patrick, t’was his cousin Beaux. I think his last name is Vine.” said Gnippy.

Betsy resisted the urge to smack her head. “Look, don’t be coy with me” she said “Beaux may be a good ol’ boy, but I need to avoid Patrick, and his cousins Beaux and Luke or I could be in real hazzard. I could wind up pushing up daisies. And I don’t have time to duke it out with any of them.”

It was Gnippy’s turn to look confused. “Look, Mr. Bull, I will be at the cove at sunset. You be there with the gold and I’ll take you where you need to go.”

Betsy left the alley but did not notice a thin, pale mustached figure having a gander at her. Lou had overheard the entire exchange.

That evening Betsy waited at the appointed time and herd the gnu’s truck coming down the dirt road. When he arrived, she explained how to get to Luke’s farm and gave him half the gold in advance with the promise of more when they arrived at the farm. Betsy trotted around and jumped in the back of the truck and set on her rump for the ride through the evening.

She hoped to sneak into the barn and hide the gold while Luke was distracted with his female companion. She didn’t know what men found so appealing in their females with their udders so high upon their chests. People are just weird, she thought.

They arrived uneventfully at the farm. Betsy paid Gnippy his remaining gold and sent him on his way. She made it into the barn, found a hiding place for the gold and then set about coming up with a story to explain the absence of Portia and that chicken, what was his name. She thought she heard a honking sound, but figured it must be old Gnippy Gnu driving away.

The End

A Fun Surprise!

I love to write, as is obvious, but having wonderful “followers” makes it all the more fun! I appreciate all of you who take the time to read my posts that vary between the serious and as one follower described it, “zany” posts.

I recently ended a crazy series about Anna/Tanya and love how many of you stayed with me throughout the several stories of series that doesn’t seem to end! In my last post, Farewell Anna! one of my followers, who has a great sense of humor,  added onto the story. I do have creative followers who love to add their insights into my stories, making me laugh and yes at times, ….”smack my head”… If you read the comments in my stories I am sure you have noticed that!

I was thinking of how the addition that this follower wrote needed to be shared, and then he surprised me last night with another part to his story. He wondered if I would like to use it for a post and I loved the idea! His additional conclusion to my story will be in 2 parts. I hope you enjoy Part 1 today. Laughter is something needed every day and I do believe you will get that from Jason’s story.  I am sure Jason would appreciate hearing your thoughts on his contribution to a saga, that has grown into much more than what had started out as just a simple story! Thanks Jason for sharing your creativity! For those of you not familiar with the story about Anna, it may help to know that Betsy is a cow, like no other cow, and Portia is a pig


About a year later, under the deep emerald blue seas, in a cave with an opening shaped like a heart… bubbles rose from the inky black depths and settled against the roof of the cave. Deep within the cave, there were dim lights moving through the darkness. Three divers pressed on through the meandering passages until they arrived at a large underground cavern filled with air. The three emerged from the black water and into the cave.

“Snort, the map was correct” grunted Portia, her azure green eyes glimmering with greed.

“It better be. It cost moooore gallons of milk than I can count.” said Betsy, water dripping from her cowbell.

“You ladies going to sit here clucking, or are we going to find the gold. Cluck Cluck.” said the un-named chicken.

“Won’t the farmer be suspicious?” snorted Portia.

“No, he thinks we’re sweet dumb farm animals.” said Betsy with a disdainful sneer.

“Come on! Cluck Cluck. Into the cave. Times wasting!”

With nothing but their flashlights against the overpowering darkness, our three unsuspecting treasure hunters pressed on into the cave. When suddenly a rush of wind passed Betsy ear, she dropped to the ground just as a blade shot across where her head had been a second before.

“Mooooooo!” Betsy bellowed “There are udder traps, I mean booby traps in this place.”

“Yeah, snort, you two be careful.” said Portia with a smirk on her snout.

They pressed on through the darkness. “What’s that up ahead?” clucked the chicken. There was a rush of metal and bones and the chicken was caught off guard.

After the feathers had settled, Betsy and Portia could see the poor chicken run through with the dead pirates sword. His skull appearing to be agape in laughter.

“Pirate Sanders the gray beard!” Gasped Betsy.

“I hear he was a colonel before becoming a pirate.” oinked Portia. “Snort. We must be more careful lest we end up skewered like the chicken.”

When they got to the entrance to a larger cavern, Portia came to a sudden halt. “Mooooove.” bellowed Betsy.

“No, wait!” Portia snorted “It could be another trap!”

Betsy and Portia carefully shined their lights around until they found the carefully concealed trip wire and saw the trap. “You really saved our bacon, Portia.” mooed Betsy.

They carefully stepped over the trip wire and reached the treasure chest at the center of the chamber. It was filled with gold coins that gleamed in the light of their flashlights. And on top there was a crown. Betsy read the inscription in the inside.

“What does it say? Oink, What does it say?” snorted Portia, because pigs can’t read.

“It says ‘King Jack’” said Betsy with a chuckle “I wondered what became of him.”

Betsy and Portia began hauling the treasure chest back through the cave to the water’s edge. As they neared the waters edge Betsy turned just in time to see Portia rushing her and slammed her against the cave wall. “The gold is all mine!” snorted Portia.

“Not so fast.” Betsy bellowed as she became a whirlwind of hooves and horns. Hooves, and horns, and a cowbell rained punishment down on Portia. Portia fell against the cave floor and Betsy pounced on her to end it once and for all.

But at the last second Portia darted to the side and put those years of karate practice into effect. She landed a pork chop to Betsy’s head and a ham hock to her rump. Betsy was being pummeled and tenderized by Portia’s knuckles. But Betsy still had fight left in her and t-boned Portia driving the wind out of her.

The two competitors tusselled on the floor, in an udderly ridiculous struggle to see who would hog all of the gold for herself. Their were snorts, and moooos, and the continuous ringing of a cowbell….

Late that evening after the sun had set and the sky was deep magentas and indigo, something emerged from the surf on the shore of Tanya’s island. Four hooves hit the wet sand dragging an old treasure chest, off to find an abandoned row boat. The faint honking of a goose was heard high in the sky.

(to be continued)

Farewell Anna!

Yesterday’s post, The Clue that Answered All! apparently didn’t  answer all, so here we are again! If you have been following Anna’s story from the very beginning, I am sure that it comes as no surprise to you that yesterday’s post wasn’t really the end. I hope you now enjoy hearing the climax of the Anna/Tanya mystery.


They were getting close to shore. Tanya had her back turned, and was oblivious to what awaited her. Tanya rubbed her hand down Patrick’s muscular arm as she looked him in the eye, asking if he wanted to come into her cottage when they arrived.

Almost reaching the shore, Tanya turned around and her face went ashen at the sight of Luke in his cop uniform.  She turned towards Patrick. “You know who I really am, you set me up!” she spat out in an icy tone.

“I guess, you aren’t going to invite me into your cottage after all?” Patrick said. “By the way, thanks for the back massage, it felt great …. Anna!”

Tanya’s face got beet red as she slapped Patrick on the cheek and jumped into the water. Patrick was stunned for a moment, then he watched her in the water. He wasn’t exactly sure where she was planning on swimming too, so he wasn’t in a hurry to jump in and grab her. He was a strong swimmer, it wouldn’t take long to overtake her. He steered the boat into shore and docked it, then jumped into the water. Within 10 minutes he had caught up to her and grabbed her around the waist. She flailed some, but she knew it was no use, so she slapped his cheek again. He was going to be more than happy to turn her over to Luke! Let him deal with this crazy girl!

“Hey cous!” said Patrick as he got out of the water carrying a struggling Anna. “Care to help me out?”

In no time, Luke had the cuffs on Anna and was reading her rights.

“Good Luck with her”, said Patrick, “She is a feisty one!”

“You are coming with me, I can’t take her by myself, you know the rules. You are the FBI guy. ” Luke replied.

“You didn’t bring any other officers along?” ”

“No, I figured we could handle it.”

Patrick smiled, ” Well it has been a while since I saw your wonderful family,  so sure I will come along with you and little Miss. Sourpuss.”

Anna gave a frosty glare.

Luke shook his head, ” You better watch it, you want her to leave more marks on your cheek?”

“Ha! She is in cuffs now, can’t touch me! She sure did enjoy touching me earlier in the day though.” he said, with a smirk.

Anna’s face was getting redder by the minute. Luke gave him a look, and Patrick stopped. He knew he had said enough, and that he probably shouldn’t have said those things, but it had felt good.

It was dark by the time they got to Luke’s house. Anna would have to stay there for the night, they would transfer her to the jail tomorrow. Luke didn’t want her in the house, so he had made up a little bed for her in the barn. He would padlock the door shut.

When he walked in to the barn with her Betsy let out a loud MOO,  which made Anna jump, as she remembered the nightmares she had back at the cottage about Betsy. It felt like Betsy’s eyes were looking right through her.  Made a chill run through her. She wasn’t watching where she walked, stepped right on Portia’s tail. Portia let out a loud squeal as Anna turned to see a pot bellied pig staring back at her.

Charlie the Chicken was being quiet for once in his little corner, observing everything closely. Anna had been delivered right to them! Tonight would be fun! They would get justice for their dear friend, the “Chicken Man!”

Luke asked Anna if she was hungry, but she refused.  She didn’t want any hot milk either to help her sleep, which Luke had offered. He knew she was a criminal, but  he still had a genuine, kind heart.

“Well try to get some sleep. We will leave after a hot breakfast tomorrow.  Goodnight.”

There was no reply.

Luke patted Betsy, Portia and Charlie goodnight.  He couldn’t pinpoint it, but there was something in their eyes that he thought looked strange.

Back in the house, Annie was loving being with Patrick again, and showing off her new baby brother. Patrick held him in his arms, such a precious bundle of joy.  He hoped that someday he would get to hold a baby of his own. Little Lance smiled up at him and his heart melted.

Early the next morning Luke went out to take Anna some breakfast. He opened the barn and Anna came rushing out knocking him down,and the food went flying!

“Take me to the jail NOW!” she cried!

“Get me away from here and far, far away from these animals!” She bolted from Luke and jumped into his squad car. Patrick had run out of the house due to the screaming and watched in wide eyed amazement at Anna being in hysterics.

Luke looked in the barn and Betsy stared back at him with Charlie sitting on her back. They had become great friends after all. Portia was contently chewing on a corn cob. Luke wasn’t sure but he could have sworn that it looked like they all were smirking!

He shut the door and started walking away. Was that singing he heard? It was the strangest singing he had ever heard, but it was coming from the barn. He opened the door and all was quiet, closed it and walked away, sure enough it started again. It sounded like Betsy, but since when did cows sing!

He got in the squad car, Patrick was already in the other seat. They were ready to get Anna to jail and get back home again. They were all going to have a picnic by the creek , under the Weeping Willow tree. Luke smiled, Anna had been caught and all was well once again. The windows in the squad car were open and as he pulled away, there was loud squalling from the barn.

“What is that sound?” asked Anna.

“Just Betsy singing you a farewell song,” Luke said, and down the road they went, to the sound of Patrick’s laughter.



Keep Smiling!


With all the talk about the Corona virus and the general panic going on, I thought we all could use a SMILE BREAK! ENJOY! Its always more fun to Smile!






The first 2 pictures are from Pinterest but the last 2 I am proud to say are my adorable great-nephew and great-niece! Their parents were more than happy to help me spread some smiles with all of you. Yes, I am in love!