Choices and Results!

As I was debating what to post today, I remembered a post that I shared back in 2016. I thought it would be a timely post to share once more. If you did read it back in 2016, I hope you don’t mind reading it again and thanks for still “following” me. 🙂

8 years ago on the last day of April there was a young man who loved life! He was outgoing, passionate and caring. He could make you laugh at the drop of a hat. He was a wonderful big brother to his two younger sisters,  and the only son of my dear friends.

His name was Kiel. His Freshman year of college was ending, it was his last week. He had made it through! He was soon going to be moving back home for the summer, life was good!

I don’t know what Kiel was doing the morning of April 30th, but I can guess that he probably was thinking of the summer to come. Thinking of the fun times he could have with his family and friends. Wondering what his future beyond college might hold, having dreams, like we all do.

He had a optimistic view on life that was contagious when you were around him, always wearing a smile. More times than not that smile was probably due to mischief brewing in his mind. He did enjoy having fun. He was 19 years old  with his whole life ahead of him. I may not know what all his mind contained the morning of April 30th, but I am pretty sure that he didn’t wake up thinking, “This is going to be the last morning I see.”

May 1st dawned as a bright, warm Spring day. My friend Lori knew in a week that her son would be home from college. Being a close knit family, she was excited to have her children all together again.

Lori was at work when 2 policeman walked into her work place asking for her. She wasn’t aware that when she stepped outside with the police that her life would be irrevocably changed. Changed by choices that had been made by her precious son and by his questionable friends.

The details of the night remain sketchy, even 8 years later; for people are afraid to speak up. The facts are tragic. My friend’s son who had so much potential and promise inside him was found dead the morning of May 1st. He died of alcohol poisoning. His friends were very aware of how intoxicated he was, and one mentioned taking him to the hospital. But the others made the CHOICE not too! They made the CHOICE to put him in a bedroom and just let him sleep it off. You don’t sleep off alcohol poisoning! No one checked on him until it was too late. CHOICES were made that night that resulted in deadly consequences and that changed not only my friend’s life and her family, but the lives of many others who knew and loved him.

We make choices every day of our lives and a lot of those choices are not life changing ones, but we need to remember that there are choices that can be. Choices that not only may change our lives, but the lives of so many others. Choices that we don’t always get a second chance to redo! Please choose wisely when making serious choices, don’t only think about the here and now.  Think through your choice, instead of making an impulsive one, which could lead to serious consequences!

My heart still aches for my friend and her dear family, for there is no greater loss than the loss of a precious, loved one! His presence continues to be deeply missed. But I  want to say that I am so proud of  them and the choices they have made in dealing with this tragedy.

They have become Kiel’s voice. They have gone around to different High Schools and Colleges ( including Kiel’s college) sharing the truth about alcohol poisoning. Encouraging young people to make wise and responsible choices. They are doing all they can to try and make a difference in the lives of others.

They did not choose to become bitter and isolate themselves from society. They chose to keep embracing life and living it to the fullest like Kiel did. They chose to keep smiling through their heartbreak. Having their times of sorrow and tears, but knowing that this isn’t the end. Knowing that they can preserve Kiel’s legacy and that each of them still have so much to offer the world. They continue to share their love, wisdom, joy and laughter with their friends.  Love you Lori, Tony, Katy and Ema.  Keep letting God’s beautiful light shine through, as you continue to inspire others!

20/20 vision but still Blind…..

Is it possible to have 20/20 vision and still be blind?  YES!  I am not talking about 20/20 vision in a literal way.   I am not talking about eyesight.  I am talking about what we see with our minds.

I am talking about the young lady who is still bleeding and there is a baby in her lap, but she looks up at the Dr. and says. “This baby can’t be mine,  I wasn’t pregnant.”

Yes, that example was from a fiction novel that I am reading, but it really made me think, I at first thought, “Seriously! That’s a little far fetched!” when I read about her denying the fact that she was pregnant, then I thought some more.  I thought of some true life situations and believe that its really not as far from reality as what we may think.  A lot of people make themselves “blind” to the truth, for the truth is too painful to bear.   We deceive ourselves into thinking that it is best to deny it.   We hope that in the denial we can bury the pain of the truth.

“Every time after that it became easier, because if I didn’t do it again, I would be reminded of that first time I did not say no. Repeat the same action over and over again, and eventually it will feel right. Eventually there isn’t even any guilt.”

This quote was from another book I had read.  It was about a person who committed a horrible act.  Is it really possible to repeat an act so many times that you no longer feel any guilt?  To bury the truth of our  actions so deep that we really don’t see the wrong in them.  Do we really become blind to the ugly truth?

Being blind to the truth, isn’t always about something that we have done.  We can be blind to things that others have done too.  It is easier for us to  be blind to it and pretend that we don’t see.  For if we really open our eyes and truly see, we will feel the  agonizing stabs of pain in our heart,  which can be overwhelming.  Too overwhelming to admit that a loved one may have a serious problem with drugs or alcohol.  Too overwhelming to believe that the one we thought would love us forever is now rejecting our love.

The facts may be staring us in the face, but yet we still deny.  We claim that “the baby” is not ours!  This happens to other couples, not us!  This happens to other children, not ours!

What is it that makes us deny the reality of the pain and does it help the matter at all, or just prolong the inevitable?

Is it a conscious act or a self protection mode that our brain goes into when faced with something traumatic?

Yes, I know I am asking a lot of questions. I  am not expecting that someone has all the answers, I am just thinking out loud.  Wondering why we do what we do.  Books often lead me to thinking and this one has, and all of you are my “lucky”? audience to my thoughts.

As always I am glad to hear your thoughts if you want to share.   Our minds are such fascinating, complicated things, aren’t they!