The Pompous Pumpkin Head

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The corn maze was all ready for the guests tonight. Sebastian had been in charge of the corn maze for the past 4 years and this year he was so proud for this was the biggest one yet. People were thinking he was crazy for planting so much corn, but he had been able to sell it all and now people were coming from all over to see the biggest corn maze.

Slicking back his hair with his hand he walked towards the farmhouse. It was time for supper and he didn’t want to be late for his wife’s meal. Her cooking put other wives to shame! The only problem that Sebastian had with her cooking was that it was causing his jeans to shrink.

“Okay he is back in the farmhouse now, are you ready?”

“Yes, I am, but do you think it will really work?”

“Well there is only one way to know.”

Tiffany sighed, Tate was always such a daredevil, and he never had any fear. At least he never showed it if he did.

“You know what you are to do, right, you remember your words?” Tate asked

Tiffany nodded, “Yes, Tate, I know it forwards and backwards, we rehearsed it how many times?”

“That’s my girl! If all goes well, you will get a sweet reward.” Winking at her , he leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

“But … Tate… what if?”

“Don’t worry your pretty little head, nothing is going to go wrong! You will see, trust me! ”

Rubbing her hands together nervously, she prayed that Tate was right.

“Stand right here in the middle of the cornfield. Make sure not to do it too early, we want to make sure there is a big crowd, so that they all see me!” Tate had a pompous attitude at times that Tiffany didn’t care for, but … she put up with it… for now.

As Tiffany was walking away to get something that she needed, Tate called out to her. “Does my hair look alright babe?”

Trying to keep her voice even and not roll her eyes, she replied. ” Its marvelous honey, like always.”

Tate smiled big as he stood up a little taller. “I am the envy of so many.” This time Tiffany did roll her eyes, What had she seen in him. Why did she ever say Yes to his proposal? Well this wasn’t the time or place to think about this, but her stomach was in knots because of havign second thoughts about it.

Tiffany came back with the megaphone and Tate left to go get ready. Within 15 minutes people started to arrive and within an hour there was quite the crowd gathered. Tiffany waited a little bit longer and then figured that Tate should be close so she picked up her megaphone to make the announcement.

“Attention everyone! Can I please have your attention? Look up! Look up and see the arrival of the Great, the Best, the One and Only Superstar Flying Pumpkin!”

The megaphone worked, people were looking up, but there was no Great Pumpkin to see.

Sebastian was totally ferhoodled, who was the lady with the megaphone and what was she talking about?

She kept saying to look for The Great Pumpkin but nothing was happening. People were starting to ignore her and get back to finding their way through the corn maze. Meanwhile Tiffany didn’t know what was up, why wasn’t he coming? People were probably thinking she was a blatherskite, just speaking nonsense. One more time she would try it and then she was going to go find Tate and see what was wrong.

“People, People! Everyone, please lend me your ear one more time! If you would just look up, you will see…”

Audible gasps were heard from the crowd as they were nudging their friends to look up and see it too! There was a Great Pumpkin hang gliding over the corn maze. Everyone cheered. Oh Tate would be loving the cheers, thought Tiffany. He was making a circle for the 5th time, that was the number they had agreed upon. But wait now he was going for a 6th time. Of course Tiffany should have known, the cheers were egging him on. It was going to his head as he made a 7th circle around the field with his hang glider.

When Tiffany started to wonder if he would ever stop, the crowd started shouting. He was falling! He had only one arm on the glider now and he was sideways, then in no time at all he flipped over and fell to the ground. Right in the middle of the cornfield.

Tiffany ran over to him, He was lying on the ground groaning about his arm. The arm was bent at a crooked angle, Tiffany was sure that it was broken. She tried pulling off his pumpkin head, but it seemed to be stuck. Pulling and pulling just resulted in him screaming more that she was hurting his neck. A crowd of people had gathered at the time and they took turns trying as well, until he yelled for everyone to STOP! He complained that they were probably messing up his hair. Tiffany wanted to disappear into a hole in the ground when he said that. Soon sirens were heard. Seeing all the trouble that was happening, Sebastian had called 911.

They had to take him to the hospital and cut off the Pumpkin Head, they x-rayed the arm and it was broken in 3 places. He kept groaning. “Is your pain that bad?” Tiffany asked, with concern in her eyes.

“No, but, but … they ruined my Pumpkin head!”

Tiffany was incredulous. He was seriously complaining about his “Pumpkin Head.” Looking at him she shook her head in pity, as he asked for a mirror to look at his hair which he was still sulking about being all messed up.

“Tiffany did you hear me? I need a mirror and see if you can ask a nurse for some hair gel please. Of course you will need to style it for me since I can’t use my right arm.”

Knowing what she had to do, she slid her diamond ring off her finger and put it in the palm of his hand.

“What is this? Why are you …”

“Oh Nurse there you are, you took long enough to answer your page…I need some hair gel please.” The nurse gave Tiffany a look, raising her eyebrows. Tiffany shook her head with a sad smile. “Goodbye Tate!”, and she walked out the door to him shouting at the poor nurse. She wondered how long it would take for him to even notice that she was gone. Lucinda could have him. He was all hers! She was done!

46 thoughts on “The Pompous Pumpkin Head

  1. Okay, the name Lucinda sounds familiar. Wasn’t she in a different story?

    Tate seems like a master aviator with his hang glider. And what a stroke of genius, crashing it like that. I’m sure the crowd was very entertained, watching such a spectacle, and this will earn Tate a lot of free publicity.

    Tiffany was stupid to break up with such a clever dude like Tate.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. He needn’t worry about his pumpkin head, I am sure he can have that pumpkin patched up in a jiffy.

    Are we to see further adventures of Tiffany? Will she find the right man? Will Tate and Lucinda finally get together and fight over the mirror? Will there be any cows in the next story? What will happen to the price of corn?

    Liked by 2 people

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