Zoey walked into the study and stared at the violin on the chair. It was exactly as he had left it, just waiting for him to come back and play it once again.
Jasper had been practicing hard for the special concert that was coming up. He was going to be playing a solo and had been so proud of himself. He had worked hard to get a place with this well known orchestra and his work had finally paid off! He had been traveling with them for a few months now, thoroughly enjoying it.
Zoey could see the sparkle in his eyes when he came home and excitedly told her how the director had commended his work and offered him the solo piece. Gabe was supposed to play it, but the director believed that Jasper would do a better job. He said that Jasper had natural talent and he could see him going far.
Sadly Jasper wouldn’t be playing at their next concert. He met with an unfortunate accident and had broken both of his arms. He was still in the hospital, Zoey had just returned from visiting him.
She felt so sorry for her brother, he had been so disappointed. What she really couldn’t understand though was how the accident happened. It seemed so strange.
Gabe had invited all the members of the orchestra over to his house for a pre-show party and while Jasper was there a heavy tile fell from the ceiling and landed on Jasper’s arms. He had been sitting directly under the tile, that Gabe said had been loose, as he apologized to Jasper.
Zoey shook her head, she had never really liked Gabe. Perhaps she would invite him over for a visit, tell him how much she wanted to hear him play the violin. He always liked his ego stroked. She thought a little more as she smiled slyly. This could be a fun visit, a fun visit indeed!
Uh-oh…sounds like there’s the potential of a little payback in Gabe’s future.
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I
Yes, but a harmless one. She isn’t vindictive, just wants to make her point and have a little fun. π
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Zoey walked into the study and stared at the violin on the chair. It was exactly as he had left it, just waiting for him to come back and play it once again.
Jasper had been practicing hard for the special concert that was coming up. He was going to be playing a solo and had been so proud of himself.
Zoey could see the sparkle in his eyes when he came home and excitedly told her how the director had commended his work and offered him the solo piece.
JR – Do you not see a glaring inconsistency in those above statements?
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πΆπ€!
Does that give you your answer?
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Nope! Is that supposed to explain Zoey’s sex change?
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Wait! What sex change? Now, I am confused.
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You’re confused? Think about your readers! In your first paragraph you introduce Zoe and nobody else. A paragraph must stand on its own in terms of understanding. That is why when you change direction in writing, a new paragraph is required. So:
“Zoey walked into the study and stared at the violin on the chair. It was exactly as he had left it, just waiting for him to come back and play it once again.”
Must be interpreted that “exactly as he had left it” means exactly as Zoey had left it. Just waiting to be played again. It couldn’t mean anything else because there was nobody else in the story at that time. Does that help?
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I have to agree with Colin. I read the first paragraph and thought “Zoey is an odd name for a guy.” Maybe it should read:
“It was exactly as [her brother] had left it…” opening the door for the description of the owner of the violin.
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I didn’t want to agree with Colin, but yes, if I would have just added 2 worda, like you said, it would have solved the confusion. Being that unfortunately you all can’t read my mind! π
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It happens. It’s a cute story nonetheless. Looking forward to the fun revenge.
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Thanks! Yes, it does happen, and you will notice that it does happen quite often to me! Well not quite like this. I at least had never messed up before with he and she, perhaps names though. π Annie and Anna will haunt me forever due to certain people, who shall remain nameless. But I think you are smart enough to guess who! π
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Oh, yeah…LOL!
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Oh gosh! Never mind…you don’t need to explain.
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Too late! Of course you could have said:
“Zoey walked into the study and stared at the violin on the chair. It was exactly as Jasper had left it, just waiting for him to come back and play it once again.” Then you could go on to explain who Jasper was.
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Oh those wonderful should had and could have’s!”
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There’s no such thing as a “should had” … it’s “should have”!
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…mmm..!!
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revenge is a dish best served cold………………
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That is true. You gotta be careful, could get yourself in a deep hole!
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I don’t like Gabe, either…
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π
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I have no freaking idea what’s happening in this story. Is Zoey a he or a she? Was Zoey going to play the solo piece after Jasper broke his arms, or Gabe?
But Colin did a much better job than my tired old self can do, tackling the inconsistencies in this tale. My suggestion to fix it would be to arrange for about four more heavy tiles to fall from the ceiling, and kill all the characters. Then follow with the words, “The End.”
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Oooh yes, I knew I would hear it! Hey, I have to keep you guys on your toes somehow you know! What would you do if I didn’t make mistakes?
Hmmm…. as I told Vic, if you all just would have read my mind you would have known exactly what I meant in the story and not been confused. Your fault. π Killing off all the characters? Well that would be one quick way to end it, if I was going to end it. But you know the words “The End” never work for me! π
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I would let “The End” work for you, in this story. But I guess I’ll have to work on my mind reading skills, so I can start understanding your posts.
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Haha! Good luck!
I think Jason is writing the END for me. If you notice, he “liked” it.but didn’t comment. I am not sure whether to be scared or not. LOL!
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He’s contemplating his next move…
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I was too tired.
I didn’t have trouble following the story. I think that the police should be involved. A tile heavy enough to break Jasper’s arm may have hit his head and killed him. It is clear that Gabe is not just fiddling around.
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I did think abput you being tired. Hope you slept well!
YES! Thank you! You obviously know how to read between the lines and perhaps have telepathy. π
“Fiddling around”? You are awake now I see!
Gabe isn’t that mean, he didn’t want to kill him, but yes, that could have happened. Jasper probably should have been wesring a helmet!
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If I were Jasper, I would probably feel like stringing Gabe up. That Gabe is nothing but treble, I tell you. I expect more violince in the near future.
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Oh gosh!
Yeah, you obviously got too much sleep!
I don’t know about more violEnece, may turn to something safer like a cute rabbit story!
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Oh, my…
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LOL!
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Good points!
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He’s probably orchestrating something, and trying to figure out how the musicians should be conducting themselves.
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Oooh you didn’t! π
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I did, and it was music to my ears.
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“Music to my ears?” Nope! π
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Not even a few sour notes?
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Haha!
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LOL!
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I guess “reading between the lines” would be a poor suggestion in lieu of telepathy?
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It would. Trying to read between her lines could put me in the bughouse, weaving baskets while twiddling my toes.
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I believe you are already there!!
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Pffft!
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π
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LOL!
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At least you would be productive?
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LMAO! I just choked on my ginger ale!
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Sorry. I hope it didn’t go out your nose.
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Luckily, no. I love the sarcasm and wit of this group…
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Thanks. It’s all in good fun. I don’t think any of us are easily offended.
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… and I don’t think at all. Well I try not to! π
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Yup, that is obvious! π
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Given what your thinking does for you … perhaps you should try not doing it as well. What with Charlie, Betsy, Anna, Annie, weird Fairies, Mr. Zoey, and who knows what else….. you really should try. π
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“Very funnnny!” π
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LOL!
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You may well LOL Vic …. but getting involved in this particular Blog is like jumping into the Twilight Zone (start the creepie music).
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I like the Twilight Zone…Outer Limits…Tales From The Dark Side… I am familiar with varying levels of strange.
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You’ll fit in really well! Welcome to Crackers for Quackers, Books for Ducks and so many other literary gems that will be created by everybody except the person who runs this blog site.
She who runs this site
Is very strange right now
She’ll start writing about a rabbit
But it’ll end up being a cow
And if you think that’s strange
Just look at the history of this Blog
You’ll soon know that English Language as we know it
Has well and truly gone to the dogs
But hang in there and feel sorry for her
She only has half a brain
Her sister has the working half
That’s why JR is quite insane.
π
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Are you the Poet Laureate?
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No. A Poet Colin. I’ve never met a Laureate so don’t know whether I would want to be one really.
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It seems to be a high stature position.
I dub thee Poet Colin, official poet that DOES “know it.” (wink)
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Oooh my gosh!! How, how, do I describe that “wondrous” poem? I have no words now, but have no fear, they will come! π
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Maybe if you really put your mind to it, you can stop thinking.
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I dunno. I’ll have to think about it.
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Nope, no one is easily offended, though for some strange reason you didn’t like the distinct honor of being turned into a DUCK! Make someone a hero and they go crazy writing poetry! ππ¦π¦π¦π¦π¦
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Well, turning me into a duck seemed like fowl play, to me.
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Chicken!
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Geez, now I have egg on my face.
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Turkey!
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What do the Turks have to do with this?
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It’s all in the key and how you turn it.
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Oh, I see. That unlocks the mystery.
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Well adds a bit to Turk … so Turkey is not too much of a leap of understanding.
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No, not too much. Turkeys can’t leap very far.
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I wonder if frogs play Leap Turkey?
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No, turkeys are too tall to safely leap over. It might make them croak.
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Wibbit! Wibbit!
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Oooooh gosh! Looks like some turkeys were having fun this morning on my blog!
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I wonder how many times I may …”smack my head” ..while trying to get caught up on all the comments!
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What mystery?
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I dunno.
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It’s mystery to me as well.
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I thought you said that if you turn the key you have the answet?
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I said nothing about an answet (whatever that is).
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Yep. I’m scratching my head, and I was deloused just a few days ago.
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πΆπ€!
That doesn’t exactly answer the question of what the mystery is!
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What mystery?
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The mystery that Colin talked about. .. ..mmm..! But its OK, really, it would probably be bettwr for me to protect my head and not ask again!
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In your case, it is always bettwr.
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π
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About what?
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Never mind smart aleck!
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I could make that happen to Snowball, just saying…..
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Snowball has been good lately. Very good.
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COUGH!! COUGH!! Oooh are you talking about the “very good” poem he wrote??
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Yes, and the very good zingers of late.
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πππ
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Ooh head smack Number 1
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Haha!!
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We don’t get offended…..we just get even! π
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And that’s the scary thing about this group.
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Right! If she treats us like the characters in her stories … who knows what she’ll do (or forget to do) next!
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Perhaps the biggest danger is when she smacks her head. Marbles sometimes fly out, becoming deadly projectiles.
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Right … and then there’s even more space in there for the few left to really bounce around! I guess she can probably get a few more from her sister?
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Maybe. As I understand it, her sister has half of her marbles.
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That’s what she told us. I have had a few dialogues with her sister .. and her marbles really do work.
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It’s too bad she’s hogging all those marbles, and keeping them from poor Carolyn.
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Oh, now its “poor Carolyn”? And not poor whatchamacalit? π
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Ultimately, it all boils down to poor Carolyn
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Because of the clowns I deal with? Yes, thanks for the sympathy! Its about time!
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Sigh. Such denial. Poor, pathetic Carolyn.
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Pathetic!!?? ….mmm…!!
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A “few dialogues”?? Her marbles work, due to my help!
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Delusional. Totally delusional. Karen is normal. Need I say any more?
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πΆπ€
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You haven’t met her!
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I haven’t met TG either, but I know he is a smart, witty and all around nice guy …. so what’s the issue with Karen?
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Sbe is smart and witty and all sround super nice too, for she shares my brain!
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Changed your story now! You told us that you shared her brain. Truly delusional, and every time you write something ..it is merely confirmed.
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Well isn’t it obvious that if I share half of her brain that she shares half of mine??
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Based on your performance to date ………… No!
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…mmm…!!
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You said she was normal and I was just saying she is far from being totally normal!
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I’ll mention that to her the next time we email.
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Oooh I am going to pretend I didn’t read that!!
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Okay, but I am not going to pretend you didn’t say what you did about her (and such a lovely lady).
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πΆπ€!!
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Sooo funnny!
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Heyyyy! π€ͺ
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Zinggggg!
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Yeah, watch out for something flying through the air right now! May want to DUCK!
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I will. Those marbles hurt.
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….mmm…!! Thats not what I was referring too!
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Its a Mystery! π
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There you are. Now you know so don’t ask us!
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I wasn’t talking about that mystery!
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Whatever. Totally delusional.
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Wit is fun, isn’t it. π I have to say they are some of the wittiest people I ever met! They can be pretty sharp and have the special ability to make you laugh, while making a face at the same time!
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.. and you can make us cry in despair (while we secretively laugh our “donkeys” off).
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Smartass! π
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.. or perhaps an axe wielding chicken called Anne (or was it Annie) arrives and ends it?
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…mmm….!
Or perhapa Not!
The chicken is Dead, not alive, ceases to exist, Understand? π
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Then I guess it’s up to Charlie to put everybody out of their misery?
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πΆπ€!
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Wait. Who’s Charlie?
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A chicken!
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Or maybe a talking cow can stampede over them.
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You just are on a roll this morning aren’t you! You are showing up the Pun Master!
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No, I’m warming the audience up before he makes his grand entrance.
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….mmm…! πΆπ€
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He already made his grand entrance, did you miss it from down in your hole?
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I think that was just a cameo. He’ll be back.
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LOL!
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That’s Betsy. Over 1000lbs of cuddle!
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I wouldn’t exactly say that Betsy is the cuddly type!
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It’ll be different when you get to know her.
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LOL!
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Ummm….I do know her. I made her a sweet, innocent cow and then somehow lost control of her due to Jason!
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An axe wielding chicken? What did I miss?
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You missed Charlie, a character in an earlier story which included Anna and Annie and an axe. Anna and Annie were the same, and Charlie the chicken did not have the axe. In fact he may been killed by it … ore was that Annie? Confused? Yup … so was I, and reading the story again was of no help. π
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Oh my gosh! You are totally going to confuse her! There was NO AXE and Anna and Annie were not the same person! Perhaps you should read the story a 3rd time! π
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I distinctly remember asking you what happened to Anna (It was Anna’s story after all) because she was not mentioned after the first paragraph. There was however an Annie who seemed to take over the story. Your explanation (as weak as it was) was that Anna had become Annie (we both know that you simply forgot her name as the story developed!). π
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..mmm…!!
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Ok. So. We have a woman with multiple personality disorder, a chicken named Charlie and no axe. Is Chicken Charlie one of the other personalities?
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LOL! Chicken Charlie is totally separate and he is a Talking Chicken who was the Chicken Man’s buddy but then the Chicken man got killed.
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That was just after Anna changed her name to Annie, and Betsy came stomping through the story right? Poor Vic! You must be so confused, but that’s why you fit in so well with the rest of us. π
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Some parts of my brain are cramping but, I’ll be OK.
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Ohhhhh K. Chicken Man with a talking chicken. It just keeps getting better & better.
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LOL! Yes, it does! There also is something buried on the hill underneath the little white cross.
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Um…a dead body?
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Thats what everyone thought it was!
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Well…on a hill, underneath a little white cross… If not a dead body, then a suitcase of money? A bag of chicken feed? The weapon that killed the Chicken Man? I’m running out of options, here.
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π sorry, but none of them. Though the suitcase of money is the closest.
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Pot of gold?
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Ding!! Lots of gold in cases.
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Leprechaun buried?
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Oh gosh! LOL! Yeah, you fit right in! Nooo….I didn’t have any leprechauns die! The gold was secret treasure that Luke had found. Luke is Annie’s Dad who lives on the farm and buried the gold under the cross.
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Actually, I meant “Did a Leprechaun bury that?” You answered my question. LOL! I wasn’t thinking “dead Leprechaun” but, the fact that you thought I was is hilarious!
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There you go
She totally missed your point
And you are voluntarily following this Blog?
What are you smoking? A joint?
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πΆπ€!
The dirt is really flying out of your deep hole!
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You’re following it, too!
Here. Have a toke…
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Haha! You are Right! π
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And he has been following it almost from the very beginning! π
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LOL!
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She’s right CIB/SHO (Crying In Buckets/Sobbing heart Out) π
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Hahaha! Yeah, right! π
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Its the fault of certain “followers” they were insistent throughout my story that a dead body was there! So thats what I was thinking when I read your commemt. π But no a leprechaun didn’t bury it.
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So the gold was buried under the cross
The cross that was so white
I hope they didn’t disturb dear Anna
As they furtively dug into the night.
There is a rumour I am told
Of how Anna met her end
But it was written by our JR
So her fate we’ll never comprehend
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You are so bad. LOL!
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You got that right!! LOL! π
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You are on a roll I see!
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Not at all. I am on a chair in front of the computer.
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You better duck for you just never know when something might come flying through the computer at you!
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LOL!
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ANNA!!!!
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Noooooo!!!
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LOL!
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Maybe yes and no perhaps probably.
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Now, I am crying…
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π
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Yeah. Just like that.
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There! There! Everything will be fine! π
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LOL! Are you sure?
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I had no problem with the first paragraph; it made me want to find out who “he” was, and you did a nice job keeping me in suspense until you revealed it was her brother.
The tile ceiling reminds me of a Three Stooges episode where there is a reference to the sword of damocles – it’s one of their best…
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Glad to know you weren’t confused. π
I was kept in suspense as well about Jasper. LOL! I didn’t know who he was after the first paragraph either! Plus at first he was going to have just mysteriously disappeared.
Gotta love the Three Stooges. Can’t say I remember that episode, but happy to remind you of it! π
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LOL! Hmmm… that would be a fun thing to have happen to certain elves. π
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to have them watch a pie fall on a woman’s face?
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Haha! Ummm….No. I was thinking of them being the ones that the pie falls on! π
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