The Broken Heart

I really debated about posting this today, but it moved me so much that I had to. There is a voice that still needs heard from the aftermath of Florida’s Mass shooting tragedy.  That is the teacher’s voice.  I have several friends that are teachers and if its ever been a scary time to be a teacher, its now!

In Florida 2 teachers also died that horrible day, while trying to protect their students. You have heard that at other school shootings as well. These teachers dedicated their lives to teaching kids, to helping them to reach their full potential. I doubt that they ever dreamed that someday they would be giving their lives for their students!

The following is written from the heart of a teacher. She was just venting her feelings in a post and since then it has gone viral. You may have already seen it, but for those who didn’t and in honor of all the teachers out there I give you this. Words from a broken heart.

In 7th period, out of nowhere today, the fire alarms at my school went off. My students stood up as they always do when the alarm goes off for drills.

My brain immediately went into robot mode. I recalled the incident from yesterday like a mathematician calculating a problem on a whiteboard. Zero emotions. Zero fear.

“Wait,” I said, holding up my hand. The kids froze. “Let’s sit for now,” I said calmly. They sat, looking at me in terror.

“What if it’s like—!!!” One child cried out, but I turned, shook my head, and kept my hand held out.

“It’s not. Probably someone pulled the alarm. It’s okay. Let’s just wait.”

We waited. I kept eye contact with the teacher in the classroom across the hall from me. We both shook our heads.

Then I waited to hear gunshots.

Do you hear me?

I stood in front of your children and I waited to hear gunshots.

I didn’t want to put them in lockdown just yet. Calmness and control is the only defense I have against a room of panicked teenagers. I turned and I looked every single one of them in the eyes and I nodded my head reassuringly. You are my babies. I have you. I have you.

I kept glancing across at the teacher across from me. He shook his head. We stayed still.

Suddenly, I saw our guidance counselor in the hallway. She beckoned for us to come out. I stuck my head out and said “it’s safe?” She said “Yes, let’s go out.”

“Come on, guys,” I said. “It’s all right. We can go outside.”

They behaved wonderfully. They followed me out calmly, we evacuated, and then we stood outside for 30 minutes while fire trucks and police cars checked out our building. It was a faulty alarm. Everyone was safe.

I took my children back inside. We had a successful drill. Everyone was safe. I even made a point to update parents and community that we were all safe.

School dismissed.

The kids left, chatting excitedly how they missed half a class period.

I sat at my desk.

My little sister came in to say goodbye for the day and I lost it. Sobbing, snot coming out, face burning, nauseated.

I was waiting to hear gunshots. I was waiting to hide my kids. I was waiting for the shots.

I’m home and I’m angry.

I stood in front of your kids and waited to die for them.


(Shared with permission from Stephanie Kuzy Jenkins , image via JGI/Jamie Grill/Getty)

23 thoughts on “The Broken Heart

  1. Oh C! My heart goes out to our teachers too! How scary. How brave this lady was. I watched the news tonight about many who spoke with President Trump today urging change. Children from Parkland, parents from Parkland, parents from Sandy Hook! Oh please oh please let their voices be heard and action taken!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I could not have imagined being afraid to send your children to school, even less worrying that they won’t return home safely every day because someone decided to settle their problems with a gun. I can honestly say that among the many concerns of single parenting…this was, thankfully, not among them. I could not have imagined any teacher being thrust into the scenario of Florida’s school teachers last Wednesday. I could not have imagined the need to throw myself in front of someone to save their life from bullets. I could not have imagined the terror this teacher felt and the choice that she had to make. I can not imagine any elected official from anywhere not voting to stop this senseless loss. Yet, they hesitate and seem to have little regard for the trust that was placed in them…WHY?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Tear jerker. 😢 Its terrible that these shootings have caused so much fears for students and teachers. I have several friends who are teachers and this makes me sad, that this could be them. That there is this fear in schools that started in columbine when I was 14 or 15 years old, and it hasn’t been dealt with by a government who keeps putting it off. I just imagine how scared the kids were. And the teacher, that they have to react like soldiers and defend their kids, that they are perfectly willing too. Thanks again for sharing.


  4. Wow, SO powerful! I hadn’t seen this yet. Thank you for sharing. It’s horrible that teachers have to worry they’ll be in a situation where they need to protect their students from gunfire. Tragic.


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