Coming together!

As you have seen throughout this Election Season I have not been political with my posts. Yes, I have my views, but debating politics is just not my thing. I am not a debater. I will gladly enter into a battle of wits anytime. I am more likely to win that then a debate, and its more  entertaining 🙂

So this post is not about my views on who our President will now be for 4 loooong years ,but more importantly on what our Country needs to do now. There truly are a lot of wonderful things about America, but political season always divides us. It can bring out the worst in people unfortunately.  Now is the time to remember the last 3 lines of the quote I posted above. “This has been hard on all of us. Treat others the way you want to be treated. We all will need it!”

The President isn’t the one who determines how we ACT. They are not in charge of how we treat our neighbor, no matter if our neighbor is white, black, red or yellow. No matter if they are Muslim, Mexican, Native American, or Chinese. No matter what their sexual orientation is. WE ourselves make the choice of how to treat others and right now American needs to come together and see each other the way we did after 9/11!

After 9/11 we did not all unite together because President Bush told us to. We pulled together for a common cause. We pulled together because we all were hurting and we were struck with the knowledge that no matter our differences, that now was the time to put them aside! How in the big scheme of things, when it comes down to it, we all need to be blind. Blind to the things about each other that shouldn’t matter! Blind to that, but open eyes to see each others hearts, and to know that in the important ways we are the same. We love, we cry, we laugh, we care, we have dreams, we have fears.

We should not let the labels Republican, Democrat, or Third Party define who we are. We are people who all want the best for our Country. It is not up to whoever is in the White House to make out Country Great. NO, we each have that power in ourselves.:It is in how we ourselves live, the attitudes we show, and in  how we treat our neighbor. You want change? Look within!  Are you being the kind of person you would like to be around? Are you treating others how you want to be treated? Showing respect, love and compassion! That my friends is what will make America great again!!

Tuesday’s Thoughts!

Good Morning my friends! It is Election Day here in the US. Not going to make this into a political post, just saying that I will go out and exercise my freedom to vote and I hope others do to. I will also do my best to make you smile with some quotes today, for tonight once Election results are in….. well if you need a reason to smile again, you are welcome to come back and look at these! 🙂 These will be more on the light side considering that the past couple days my posts have been more heavy. As I told a friend, my eyes need a break from the waterworks 🙂 Enjoy! Always remember that no matter who wins the Election tonight, that doesn’t have to set our mood for our outlook on life. There is ALWAYS HOPE and ALWAYS a reason to smile.

1.I'm not crazy

2.Winnie the Pooh and Cristopher Robin                                                                                                                                                     More:

3.WELCOME to my sister's high school bedroom!  More Garfield posters, stuffed animals & so many other items that it was difficult to count!!:

4.so,don't try to please everyone.:

5. I love Calvin and Hobbes comics. I wish they would compile them into a movie or something. It would make a very poignant film.:

6.Calvin and Hobbes:

7.It's really sad how often this happens. We should be able to make the person sit and wait while we think of a comeback.: OH yes…. there MAY  be days that I can relate to this!:)

8.  What a great description!:

9.charlie brown charles schulz:

10.56 Great Motivational Quotes That Will Make Your Day:

The REAL Story!

What is being REAL? I talked about it in yesterday’s post, my post about the Velveteen Rabbit. After the nice response I received from that post and my post prior to it I started thinking about another post. A post that I had put on the back burner for awhile. but spent all night thinking about and deciding that it is now time. Hopefully I am right.

If you have read The Healing TearsFirefly Moments ,The Exquisite Garden  then you have read about me talking of enduring  hard times. Times of trauma, but I wasn’t specific about what our family has gone through in the past 2 years. Here is my story. IF there is one person out there that I can help through this post, then it was worth it! I was told before how our pain can help others and I truly believe that. Helps people know they are not alone and that there is hope. So please if my story strikes a chord within you and I can help in any way let me know. To my friends who have encouraged me with their words and gentle nudges to be real, thank you! ❤

Hanging on…even if just by a thread!

My child comes out into the hallway and their frame is not hidden by oversized hoodies. I see their too slender form and I have to turn my eyes away. My stomach turns, how did this happen so fast? Where was I?

That was the thoughts going through my mind in the winter of 2015. Where was I? I had been there the whole time, it happened right in front of my eyes. It happened when I watched my child take forever to eat a biscuit/muffin for they would just nibble at it. It happened as I saw food fill the whole plate in front of my child, but also saw how finely everything was cut up and spread out. It was when I would question my child about their weight and get a defiant answer. When I would see them reading the ingredients and nutrition information on the back of food packages and they would question me about what all I was putting in the dish that I was cooking.

It was there when I noticed them not eating anything with sugar in it, but hey, who doesn’t want their teenager to not eat as much sugar? Who doesn’t want their teen to eat more vegetables and fruit? They were eating at least. You don’t have anorexia if you are eating, right?

It was there when they started getting severe headaches and they  were so tired, that they could hardly make it through a day of school. Yes, those signs were there.  When  you are right in the midst of it though, it is not as obvious.A lot of the signs were too late. The earlier signs had been well hidden behind a “happy” face.  Yes,  there was  some denial that went on as well. Your brain goes into a protective mode, refusing to believe the nightmare, the one  unfolding right  in front of you.

” Mom, I am scared! I believe I have anorexia. It started out slowly as something I could control, but now it is freaking me out for it is controlling me! I am terrified to stop, but am terrified to continue as well! I must be crazy!” My child breaks down and sobs in my lap as I stroke their head and moisture slides down my cheeks. As the lump in my throat feels like it has engulfed my heart and my stomach is wound in knots.

You go to the Dr,. to the therapist, but its not enough. Your child  can’t just snap out of it,they  can’t “just eat!” It is a REAL disorder that takes over your brain and to overcome it is hard work! The therapist recommended a rehab for them to  go to.

A rehab 3 hours away. A rehab for the child that was a homebody. Didn’t go to summer camp and friends would sleep over at our house. Now I am faced with leaving my child in a place with strangers. Trusting my child to be taken care of by them!

NO, my body screamed out to me in every fiber of my being! How can you send your child away? What kind of parent are you that you can’t just fix this yourself? Don’t do this!

If I quieted the screams though I could hear other voices. The ones speaking to my inner soul. The ones  that I knew were right. The voices saying, “How can you not? ” The voices reminding me of how I sleep in fear every night, afraid that my precious child won’t wake up when dawn breaks.  I wake up a half hour before their alarm goes off every morning. This is after a restless sleep due to checking on them through the night.  I lay there with heart pounding as I wait to hear them moving in the room. I hear their footsteps and the light switch go on and my body relaxes.

Was my fear irrational? No, for when you are malnourished it is very hard on the heart. The heart beats erratically and the pulse can drop  dangerously  low.

I will never forget my dear friend’s words. “You can hold them close to you and watch them die or you can let them go and watch them live!” Harsh words? No! Words I needed to hear, YES! True friends know when to put things bluntly and they aren’t afraid to. This broke my husband’s heart as much as mine, but we knew that we really didn’t have a choice.

My family was very supportive. I still remember my sister texting me when we were in the medical part of the rehab. We were going through the long admission process and she just texted at how she hopes we realize how much we are doing the right thing. How we are saving our child’s life. Words I needed to hear, for I knew that time was ticking away and that we were getting closer to having to say goodbye.

1 hug, 2 hugs, 3 hugs later, the time for goodbyes had come. I was holding myself together as tears streamed down my brave, 13 year old’s face and  I reassured them of our love. I held it together until I turned away, and went out the large metal doors. The nurse was putting her arm around me assuring me that my child was in good hands. Her  words were not computing. I couldn’t hear them over the sound of my shattering  heart.

7 long weeks at that rehab, 3 hour trips 1 way every week-end. 8 long weeks at a partial rehab closer to us. We were together in the evenings at a Ronald McDonald House. Cannot stress enough how wonderful the Ronald McDonald Houses are to stay at! Such an awesome idea, and so glad that there are so many around the world! A perfect way to help take care of families that are hurting.

The days went by 1 day at a time, one hour at a time and sometimes 1 minute at a time! Anorexia is an ugly disorder. It does NOT want to let go! Yes, it it like you have 2 different people in your child’s body. The sweet, loving child that you always knew, but so quickly they could turn into the angry, defiant, I can’t do this, I don’t want to get better child.

We hung in there, sometimes by only a thread and sometimes by a thick rope. We learned more about eating disorders then we ever wanted to know. My new kind of normal was reading up on it, going to Dr.appointments, therapist and nutritionist appointments every day. It was passing my husband on the week-ends.We  would switch roles in  who was staying at the Ronald McDonald house for the next week. Other families were vacationing on the beach for the summer, not us.

This period of our lives was one of the most toughest we had ever been through! Yes, there were days we just wanted to throw in the towel, but we  didn’t. As parents when we take that little bundle of joy home from the hospital, we are making a commitment! A commitment to doing whatever it takes to raise them! A commitment that goes way beyond rocking them due to colic and kissing their boo-boos when they fall down. A commitment that makes you scream, cry and yes even laugh at the craziness of the things you may be going through. A commitment that doesn’t give up! Before you know it, you see that you have managed what you thought was the unbearable! You managed because you made a commitment to LOVE and True LOVE is unconditional!

Well not sure what I was thinking, when I thought that I could cover our last 2 years in 1 post. The next REAL story will have to be in another post. Still so much I could say about Eating Disorders, but I feel the post is long enough now. AS I said feel free to ask questions if you have them.

Thanks for listening and letting me share my heart with you. Thanks for caring and letting me be REAL! This blog was actually started shortly before this whole experience happened. I did  post about it, but I posted in a allegory story way. A way that no one would know what I was talking about, except for my family and close friends. I wasn’t ready to be REAL yet, it was too hard. Thanks for staying with me and waiting.

 

Are you Real?

'The Velveteen Rabbit',   by Margery Williams  Just love this and remember this book vividly:

I have always loved this Children’s story! As you know, if you have been reading my blog for awhile, there are a lot of Children’s stories I like. There are just so many truths in them.

This story has been running through my mind all day. It has been on my mind because of recent comments made about a recent post of mine. They were positive comments, all about how wonderful it was to feel the REAL emotion that poured from my heart, into the post.

This is not the first time that I have been told to write from the heart, to let my emotions “bleed” through. Not the first time, but yet easy to forget because being REAL has some risks to it. You are speaking from your heart, from your inner soul and what if people don’t like it? It is one thing for people not to like a post that you made up, but when you write a more personal post….well it is more personal. You are wearing your heart on the outside and it feels more fragile.

Writing has always been an emotional outlet for me. I have stacks of journals that tell the story. Writing from the heart on my blog, when overcome with emotion, is something new. It is more daring.

This is where the Velveteen Rabbit comes in. It is all in the last 3 lines. It reminds me of what a friend and fellow blogger told me. They said how, yes the more real you get on your blog, the more you post true feelings, there is a risk of getting critical feedback. You always will have those who may disagree and be vocal about it, BUT….and I quote..”But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand!”

Dewey and Jaxon Follow Their Heart

Happy Saturday! Dewey takes a different type of adventure today.  My heart was feeling strongly for a friend and well, this is how my heart spoke. 

Jaxon and Dewey were in the backyard laying in a pile of leaves. They had been jumping, but were taking a break now and Dewey was feeling a stirring in his heart. He turned to Jaxon and told him that he thinks he is rubbing off on him. “Why?” asked Jaxon.  “Well.. I have a funny feeling in my heart.. like I need to be somewhere, but I don’t know where. ”

Jaxon closed his eyes and tried to concentrate. All was quiet for a few moments, so still you could have heard a leaf fall to the ground. Suddenly Jaxon opened his eyes and said, “Dewey follow me, there is someone that needs us!” With that he started walking away at a rapid pace. Dewey quickly got up on all 4 paws and took off after Jaxon, calling after him to remind him to slow down, for he had short legs!

It felt like they had been walking forever. Dewey’s stomach was reminding him that breakfast had been awhile ago! At last he heard Jaxon say the magic words. “Here we are!” Dewey looked, they had stopped right in front of a  house. One they hadn’t been to before. “So what are we supposed to do now?”, asked Dewey. Jaxon shrugged and reminded Dewey that he was the one that had the stirring in his heart to begin with. All Jaxon did was lead them to the  correct place. Jaxon sensed that they were needed, but he didn’t know why.

Dewey felt the stirring stronger now and knew he had to get inside the house somehow. How exactly, was the million dollar question. He did not see any cat doors to go through and its not like he could just ring the door bell. Or wait, maybe he could? Well technically he couldn’t, for he was too short to reach the doorbell, but Jaxon could jump up and ring it. Jaxon quickly agreed and it took him 3 jumps but he made it and he pushed long and hard on the doorbell.

They heard footsteps coming. OH NO! What did they do? They were just about ready to turn around and run… this was crazy , they didn’t know these people! Too late the door opened and they ran in quickly before they lost their nerve.

“Hey, why did you let that cat in? You know how Mom doesn’t like cats.” Beth still had a shocked look on her face as she replied that all she did was open the door, because of the doorbell ringing. ” Oh, well who was there? asked her brother. This is where Beth took a deep breath and said, “Ummmm….that cat and some really strange animal that I don’t see now.”

Beth was going to say more , but her Mom entered the living room at that time. Her eyes were puffy and red  from all the tears she had cried the night before. She sat down on the couch not even noticing Dewey at first. Her mind was going in so many directions, she could barely focus. Dewey held his breath.  The couch was so comfy and he was used to being allowed on the man-servant’s couch that he had just made himself at home here. Now hearing how the woman didn’t like cats, he thought that maybe they had made a mistake coming here.

Then it happened;  he started feeling warm inside, as the woman gingerly took her hand and started stroking Dewey. It was very light at first and Dewey held really still. Dewey felt the stirring again and he knew he was exactly  where he needed to be. Gradually the light stroking became a little more harder. He could tell the woman was feeling comfortable with stroking him. Dewey started to purr and he laid his head down in the woman’s lap. With that the woman began to cry again and Dewey thought , “OH NO! What did I do!” , but he soon realized that it was OK. He felt like this was the reason he was supposed to be  here. The woman needed him and she hadn’t even known it. He could feel the tension leave her body as she stroked him with her tears falling on his fur.

Meanwhile Jaxon had tried to fit in with a pile of plush animals in the boy’s room. That was a mistake, for the boy grabbed him like a stuffed toy and squeezed him so hard that Jaxon was sure all his insides were going to fall out! Like Dewey though Jaxon held still…he could sense that something special was at work. The boy’s tears landed on Jaxon and Jaxon’s heart started to melt. Why was everyone in this house so sad?

After Jaxon’s body had grown numb he felt the boy’s grip on him loosen and he could hear the boy taking deep breaths. The boy had fallen asleep. Jaxon slipped out from underneath his arm and stared at him for awhile. He felt bad for the boy and there was a part of him that hated to leave. He stroked the boy’s hair and put a peaceful sleep spell on him. Then he went out to check on Dewey.

“Wow!” Jaxon couldn’t believe it! He thought this lady didn’t like cats! Dewey was curled up on her lap and she had her hand resting on top of Dewey. Her eyes were closed as her head laid against the back of the couch. She was asleep as well.

Dewey saw Jaxon and he slowly got off the woman’s lap so as not to disturb  her. Jaxon’s eyes met Dewey’s and there was no need for words.  Fortunately the door never had been closed the whole way, so they were able to leave the house quietly.

Dewey was silent until they had walked further away from the house. ” Oh Jaxon! I am so glad that we came. I don’t know what was wrong, but they needed us, didn’t they?” Jaxon totally agreed. He would have said more, but he couldn’t get past the lump in his throat. Humans were strange creatures. They could really confuse you, but at other times there was something so very sweet and vulnerable about them.  You felt like you needed to protect them. They could weave their way into your heart if you weren’t careful!

Once home Dewey and Jaxon felt exhausted, their bowls were full, but they really were not that hungry. Dewey’s heart was full and it must have spread to his stomach.

Dewey loved the adventures he had with his friends, a lot of them were crazy and fun! What with a  magical Jackalope, and a  crazy Owl, plus a Wackerdoodly man-servant, how could they not have fun? Wackerdoodly was a word straight from the man-servant’s mouth. Dewey wasn’t quite sure what it meant, but from the sound of it, he would say it was perfect for the man-servant.

Today’s adventure had been different ,but Dewey wouldn’t trade it for anything. He had brought a smile to a wounded heart. The man-servant was always telling them how important it was to be there for others. To help share a smile with someone who needs it. Today Dewey understood.

Being Thankful!

It is November, and with that comes Thanksgiving. On Facebook it has become popular to share something each day that  you are thankful for during the month of  November. A grateful heart is something that we should have every day of the year, not just in the month of November. I started thinking and decided I would make a list of 30 things I was thankful for. I will divide it up into 3 lists of 10 over the next 3 weeks.

You will notice the absence of family, friends, shelter, food, animals and nature from the list. I am very thankful for each one of those, but  all of us can sit here  and compose a list made up of those things. These lists are a little more creative.  The items appear in no particular order, the order has nothing to do with being more thankful for one thing or the other. It is just how they come to me.  Some things  may be crazy, some may be deeper. You can probably relate to some.  What are some things your list of 30 would include? Feel free to comment below!

1.When your child is wearing a smile that stretches from ear to ear.

2.When you get that text or email that makes you smile from ear to ear.

3. The gift of writing, (yes I know a obvious one)

4. The gift of laughter, ( Yes, I know an obvious one as well, I didn’t say there wouldn’t be any obvious ones!)

5.The plain craziness that can occur in our house at times. Thankful we aren’t one of those Reality shows that has video cameras around. The cameras would have wondered why I was standing on one foot last night as I brushed my teeth. Or why I was making a baked potato at 2:15AM. Yes, one of you has done the same, right? Please comment below if so!

6.The variety of music! Thankful that I can hear it!

7. For the Postal Service that delivers cards and packages. (thankful for at least most of the packages that is 🙂 )

8. The times when a warm feeling floods your heart. The feeling of knowing that you are cherished and loved.

9. For imagination and a special cat named Dewey, along with his friends!

10. For my chiropractor, for untangling the knots from my neck and shoulders. It is not an easy job!

 

 

 

 

The Exquisite Garden

A long, long time ago in a tiny village far away there was a beautiful flower garden. The flowers found there  were rare, a vast array of colors and simply amazing! The colors were brighter and bolder than any other flowers around. The garden bloomed year round. The size of the flowers and plants astounded people as well. There was no other garden known  that could match the splendor of this one.

No one knew the secret of how the flowers looked so exquisite and the plants were always a lovely green. The lady of the house would only smile when asked about it. People often tried to guess the secret but they would only fail. No one could leave the garden without having been touched by its  pure beauty,  and touched by the lady of the garden.

No one knew much about the lady of the garden. They did know  that she did not have an easy life. She had endured much heartbreak. Lost her whole family and dealt with some  by serious illnesses throughout her life. You wouldn’t have guessed that though when watching her in the garden. Her face shone with a brightness that reflected the glow of her heart. You  could often hear her singing as she watered her flowers and plants. There were also times that she was silent and would sit on her favorite bench in the middle of the garden. At times it would seem as if she was in deep contemplation and other times if you were close enough you could see the tears coming down her face.

Her garden was open during the day for the public to view. She always had a kind word to say to the visitors and usually would have some words of wisdom to pass along.

Legend has it that the garden continues to flourish, even though the lady of the garden has been gone for decades now. Visitors still flock from all over to see the amazing flowers and plants. The bench she always sat on remains there in her honor.

There was a startling discovery made. A secret opening in the garden wall. It was like a  secret place for storage. There were lots of  water pitchers found in it. They were said to be the pitchers that she watered her garden from. Each pitcher was engraved with 2 simple  words.  These words perplexed some, but others smiled as understanding filled their heart. The words were , “My Tears!” Above the shelves that the pitchers were on was another engraving. A quote that people remembered often hearing the lady of the garden say as she watered her flowers.  Grow those flowers. From the creator of Sex and The City, 'Younger' stars Sutton Foster, Hilary Duff, Debi Mazar, Miriam Shor and Nico Tortorella. Discover full episodes at http://www.tvland.com/shows/younger.: You may not feel it now but you'll look back and see it in the future. Then the time that feels stuck now will make sense.:

Tuesday’s Thoughts!

Happy November! Where this year is going so fast I don’t know! Was wanting to celebrate the first of November by burrowing in the covers deeper, but….that wasn’t an option! Hopefully the quotes today can help wake you up if you feel like burrowing as well. Have a great start to your November, who knows what surprises could be in store!

1.Never underestimate the importance of having a person in your life who can always make you smile.  I am blessed with more than 1 🙂

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6.einstein by eniewan                                                                                                                                                      More:

7.Bruce Lee the greatest figure of martial arts and an unforgettable cinema icon. Up to this day he is considered as a legend, but did you know that he was a wise philosopher too? Here are our collection of the most powerful and wisest quotes by him.:

8. Einstein Quotes: Made me feel better about my clutter, what about you? 🙂

9. "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-- / I took the one less traveled by, / And that has made all the difference." -Robert Frost:

10.Emily Dickinson - If I can stop one heart from breaking....: