The Silent Heartache

This post follows my other 2 “REAL” posts. The REAL Story! and The Misplaced Shame!. They both had to do with my family’s journey through some very painful trials these past 2 years. These posts have been a step out of my comfort zone, but at the same time it has felt freeing to share them with all of you. I keep hearing reminders of how everyone has a  story and that sharing it can help someone else. This post was perhaps the hardest one to do yet, due to the subject. I feel though that it is a subject that needs to be talked about and that parents need to be aware! I honestly didn’t know how I was going to approach it when I sat down to start, but then the words flowed. I hope I handled it the right way.

I started this blog to help spread joy and happiness around, to give people something to smile about. I wanted to help uplift  people through life and their struggles, but part of helping others through their struggles is being honest about yours. That is what I have tried to do with these series of posts and I hope it encourages you to share your story. Know you are not alone in the struggles that you may face, you don’t have to be silent!

The Silent Heartache

At night the silent tears would stream down her face. She was hurting, but she felt so confused. She was scared, she didn’t know what to do. She was young, she didn’t understand why his hands touched her that way. How could she tell?  Her parents would be filled with such dismay, how could she betray him? He was their close friend, he wasn’t the enemy. He wasn’t the creepy guy she had always been warned about. He had been a family friend from the beginning of her life. He was a friend, he wouldn’t hurt her, she must have misunderstood. The silent tears laid wet upon her face as sleep would overcome her and the questions get pushed down into the deep chasms of her heart.

The days would pass, the weeks the months. OH look at the cool stuff he bought her, and he was so goofy and fun at times. Other times he would talk, talk about things that she didn’t quite understand. Talk about things that made her feel sad for him. Didn’t she want to help please him, help brighten his day. Her Mom had always said to help make people happy. When he touched her he would smile big. Even though it hurt her, she was doing the right thing, right? She was making him happy. Yet she didn’t understand the whys. Why if he was happy did she feel sad? Why was there something that felt empty inside of her every time he touched? Yet she must be doing something right and maybe this is what she was good for. Maybe this is why she had a nice body.Maybe it was meant to be shared.

The dam burst, the secret could be held no longer. With tears streaming down her face, it had to be shared. In the van, on the DARK night that I won’t forget, the truth came out. Tears came down as we embraced, wishing that somehow the tightness of the hug could magically  erase all the pain.  She had grown older and she knew it wasn’t right. The pain inside her wracked her to her inner core, she couldn’t keep pretending. Keeping the secret hidden was causing so much damage inside her, it was coming out in other bad ways, it had to be shared.

Her parents hung their heads in despair. How could this have happened right under their eyes! How could a trusted friend betray them so, they didn’t understand. The pain brought them to their knees. The Mother Bear rose up within as the fight for justice began.

The journey still continues. The path to justice is not a fast one. The healing is continuing, sometimes fast, sometimes slow. The tears still fall, but they are healing ones, for the burden of the painful secret has been set free.

The journey continues, as does the love, for a Parent’s love is always there! Step by step, sometimes millimeter by millimeter we will get there. Joy will come in the morning. This may have shattered our spirit, but our spirit is strong. It rises again, it won’t be beat!

Life is a journey of twists and turns, a journey of sometimes feeling like you are walking through hell. The thing to remember is that the view from the  mountain top is beautiful! It may feel like the ground is crumbling beneath your feet as you climb BUT step by step you get higher. With each step you take you are saying you won’t be beat! Each time you breathe in the joy of life you are fighting back against the evil that life also brings.

There are too many wonderful experiences still waiting to be had!  The mountain climb will continue, and HOPE will be shared, as we carry on!