There are times when words jump out at you and tug at your spirit. Times that you know what your heart is trying to tell you, even if you don’t want to hear it. This has been happening to me in various ways over time and this morning while innocently reading a blog post I felt the strong tug again. I decided it was worth sharing, for I know I am not the only one who has dealt with this emotional pull on my heart.
What words jumped out at me? Well interesting enough it was a quote that I had put in one of my posts awhile back. Nothing like your own words coming back to you. This quote isn’t an original from me, but it is one I have always liked. One I always believed in. One that I didn’t have problems with until this past year. The quote is, “Bitterness is the poison we drink ourselves in order to kill our enemy.” Out of all the quotes I have shared, this is the one that this blogger chose to use in her post this morning. And its one I needed to hear again. Her post was very good and I will most likely be sharing it on here.
My spirit tells me how I need to let go! I need to let go of the bitterness that has built up in me this year. I need to let go of the anger. Yes, as I shared before, my family and I have been dealt a big blow this past year. I am not disputing the fact that I do have something to be angry and bitter about. What I dispute is holding onto the bitterness. What good is it doing me? Please if you can point out a benefit from keeping a spirit of anger and bitterness inside you, do tell. Tell me how it has made you a better person.
This has been an argument I have had with myself many times. And I know its not going to instantly go away by me saying what I am today. Piece by piece I am chipping away at it. I do feel I am at a better place then I was at in the very beginning.
When we been hurt so deeply, we can’t just tell ourselves overnight to let go of all bitterness and anger. It is a process of letting Faith, Family and Friends help you get to that point of letting go. Oh and French Fries 🙂 ( sorry, will explain soon) Me being bitter can’t erase the pain of what happened. Me being bitter will not affect how the upcoming court case turns out. There is no magic seed rooted in bitterness that will benefit me or my family in any way!
No, the magic is in letting go! The magic is in feeling a weight on your shoulders disappear because of letting go. The magic of knowing that even though you couldn’t stop this awful thing from having happened, that you are in charge of how it dictates your life. You don’t need to add the extra stress of being weighed down by bitterness. not when there are still so many reasons to have a spirit of JOY! You have already been hurt once by your enemy. Don’t hang onto bitterness. Don’t give them that power of bringing more pain to you. . I know is is HARD, believe me I am in the trenches with you. I throw dirt out and then it falls back in! I have to continually keep throwing it out and be convinced that the day will come when I can totally climb out of the hole of pain, anger and bitterness.
The day will come due to the 3F’s that I referred to earlier, Faith, Family and Friends! For they bring tons of love and laughter! They are how I can see the sun each morning despite the cloud that still hangs over my head.
And as for the French Fries…..well in the very beginning of all this I will admit as to how I was stopping at McDonald’s for French Fries quite a bit. I know, I know, totally unhealthy and honestly I don’t even like McDonald’s fries that much! But McDonald’s is close to me and being that my stress level was running high I found myself pulling into the drive through a lot. You will be glad to know I no longer am doing that. At least not as often 🙂 But hey it was healthier than drowning myself in a gallon of ice cream each night.
Bitterness is not easy to let go of; but to let go of it truly is the best choice you can make. You would never knowingly pick up a bottle that was clearly marked poison and proceed to drink it, would you? Put it down and piece by piece let it go.