Brennan and I have gone through what seems like a lifetime of emotions in the past three months. From such joy and love in seeing our baby grow and learn, to sorrow and grief over her terminal diagnosis.
We are living out our wedding vows in a completely new way – “in sickness and in health.” I never thought about that applying to our children as well.
It is so easy to love a happy, healthy, growing, developing baby. My heart would overflow with joy when she would smile and laugh and babble. It was effortless.
Now, with a terminally-ill baby girl, I am finding that loving her is completely different. It looks different and feels different. My love is now protective, fierce, strong, desperate, deliberate. It is now focused on helping her manage her pain rather than helping her learn new things. It means that I must choose to…