When someone dies we hurt and when we go to the funeral to say good bye and celebrate their life, its hard. Last week I learned something that can make funerals even harder. That is when you truly don’t know the person. No, the funeral I went to was of my dear friend, who I have known since 2005. I knew her well, but her family did not. I came away from her funeral feeling a deep sadness and void for it was like her life hadn’t been honored. There was nothing personal said about her at the funeral, no memories shared. The pictures displayed of her were from her childhood. As I said, her family didn’t know her, and to me that is a tragedy. They missed out on knowing a great woman.
I don’t want to go into detail of why her family didn’t know her, the purpose of this blog isn’t to tell her whole life story. Suffice it to say she was kicked out of the house when she was 17 and after that her family would pop into her life when they wanted something. She always kept the door open for them, hoping that maybe the one time they would pop into her life would be a sincere time and that they would stay. Unfortunately that didn’t happen.
So now she has died and her family has no time left to get to know their daughter, their sister, their granddaughter. All her family has is faded photographs and old memories. They never made the effort to become part of her life. It was a constant ache in her heart that she dealt with. From witnessing the heart ache they caused and seeing their uncaring ways, I struggled with bitterness. But amidst the bitterness I felt deep sadness for them. They don’t have a second chance to make things right and to be the family that my friend needed.
So in my sadness my blessings have stood out to me. Its been impressed on me all the more of how much I value my family and my friends, and how blessed I am to have them in my life. I know without a doubt that when my funeral comes, it will be a day of sharing treasured memories and laughter as stories are told. There will be old photographs along with the new ones to show my life’s journey. My presence will be felt at the service as they sing some of my favorite songs,etc. Yes, it will be a day of sadness for those who have loved me, but they can at least be content in the fact that they REALLY KNEW me!
Now before this post gets too morbid, I will end with this thought. As I said, my service will be planned by my loved ones who really knew me and because of that, the meal afterwards will consist of mostly desserts! I will be looking down from above and saying, “OK,service is over, tears are done, Let them eat Angel food CAKE! And brownies, peanut butter fudge, strawberry pie, and who knows how big the spread of desserts there will be! I am sure I will be enjoying my own spread of heavenly desserts!