The Beating Heart

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Connect the Dots.” Grab the nearest book to you and turn to page 82. Go the 3rd full sentence and incorporate into your post. I experience a shock of horror, then a strong thrill of grief, then a desire-a necessity to see her, and I asked what room she was in. My heart was pounding, but I had to meet her, I had to give her a hug. She was a stranger, but now we were connected forever, in a way neither of us would have ever dreamed of!

This week  had  been such a roller coaster of emotions and it wasn’t over yet. I had rushed to the hospital as soon as my husband called me. There had been a terrible accident, I had to come quick, Savannah was in critical condition! I felt like I had swallowed a apple. I couldn’t speak and I could hardly breathe, as I sped to the hospital daring a policeman to stop me. My baby girl, NOT my baby girl!! OH LORD PLEASE! She has to live!! OH traffic move faster, I have got to get there! This is feeling like an eternity, but a part of me doesn’t even feel like I am driving. I am going through the motions of driving, doing what I have to do,  body is going numb and I can’t stop shaking. I finally arrive and park the car, I run to the Emergency entrance and see my husband right inside the doors.

We embrace and I can’t bring myself to ask the question, he  quietly leads me to the CCU floor and shows me into her room. Bile starts raising in my throat and I feel faint, I sway and my husband’s strong arms catch me. Oh Savannah, is that you? Is that really you underneath all those tubes and laying there all black and blue. Your beautiful black hair is matted with bright red blood. The beeps of the machine that is keeping you breathing is gonna drive me out of my mind. I want to take you home!!

I want to place you lovingly on the couch in our living room, cover you up with your favorite cozy blanket. The one with horses running free. Make you your favorite meal and watch your favorite movies til you are well again. When you get tired of movies I will read your favorite books to you. Together we will pull through this! But hey you gotta move now, you gotta wake up! Do you hear me?? Savannah!! Wake up!!! This is your MOM, I Need you!!!

I heard my husband’s quiet sobs as he held me but I couldn’t focus on him, all my attention was drawn to the still form on the bed. The person who I was told was my daughter. How? How could this be my daughter? She isn’t running or talking a mile a minute….she isn’t laughing or cracking a joke. Oh LORD, HOW? The Dr entered the room silently, his face said it all. I didn’t need him to speak. I knew this was the end and that is when I let myself sob. I sobbed til everything went black! It’s been a week already, tho it feels just like yesterday and here I am again at the hospital.  I was really going to meet her. In our shock of horror , at our daughter’s death, and the strong thrill of grief that resonated through us, we signed the papers  for the Dr.; knowing that we would be honoring our daughter’s wishes.

Now I had a desire, a necessity to see her and I asked what room she was in. I slowly walked deep in thought. My heart was still very fresh with grief, but there was a part of me that was so proud of my daughter. Rm.215, this was it. They knew I was coming. What would I say, my legs started feeling like jello. I opened the door and walked in. Her husband was sitting by her bed and they looked up when I walked in. Our eyes met and at first we could just stare. I introduced myself and the husband got up from his chair and put out his hand. I shook it, but was soon pulled into a deep embrace. He choked out the words Thank You as he wiped tears from his eyes, I couldn’t tell if it was his body shaking so badly or mine. I turned to his  wife and tears were glistening in her deep brown eyes. She handed me a stethoscope. It was inscribed,” With eery heartbeat I will remember Savannah”. I couldn’t speak, the apple was back again. She motioned me to put it in my ears and I did. I bent down and as tears silently streamed down my face, I listened  to the steady beating of  my daughter’s heart. I squeezed the wife’s  hand. No words were needed.

“I experience a shock of horror,  then a strong thrill of grief, then a desire-a necessity to see her, and I asked what room she was in.” This was the 3rd sentence in my book Jane Eyre. Highly recommend the book!

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7 thoughts on “The Beating Heart

    • Hold the tears dear PJ, it is fiction! 🙂 but I have to say that you and Ameena have made me happy 🙂 For I never was sure if I could really write fiction, and hearing that you both felt like it was so real boosted my confidence 🙂 One of my very favorite author’s Karen Kingsbury makes me cry in her books all the time! She is fiction, but OH so very REAL! I highly recommend her books!

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